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With booty-shaping back ruching, this tight long formal dress has a hip-skimming long skirt that opens in a side slit before ending at the horsehair hemline

H&M Slip Dress Current price: $42.99 From H&M Loading Inventory

This long, breezy dress features a playful camo print and a flattering V-neck perfect for sunny days and warm nights

The episode of South Park, The Hobbit, immediately is called to mind for some reason, and I wonder where the hell hobbits like me and Kim and Nikki Minaj (52) are supposed to shop for clothes that will fit all of our thick and juicy hourglass bodies without making us look like grade school girls whove raided Moms closet